It's been quite a while since I've blogged. Life has gotten in the way and internet access is limited for me at this time.
The calendar says it's spring but it still feels like winter, both weather wise and emotionally. My mother is not well and never will be. It's still cold and it has even snowed here three times in the last few weeks. I've said this before: that I think God wants to remind me where I've come from and how blessed I am that HE put me in the south!
We are staying at my mother's house while visiting, 1000 miles away from our home, as we try to make a plan for her comfort. She has spring bulbs planted around the property and the ones along the house by the porch have been up through the mulch since we first arrived, several weeks ago. There are now flower buds showing. But three times in the past few weeks those green shoots were pushing up through snow.
Everything looks dead. The grass here is still dormant. The trees here are still barren. I imagine that there are at least leaf buds on many of the trees at home.
Everything looks old. Old schools. Old businesses. Old buildings. Old houses. Old people in the mirror!
There is a natural sequence to life. As babies we are helpless and need others to provide for our every need. Then as we grow and mature we learn to do more and more for ourselves and for others as well. As adults, our bodies and minds, wind down and sometimes wear out. And sometimes, even as adults, we need others to provide for our every need.
Babies don't realize that they need so much help from others because it's all they've ever known. But adults have known what it is like to take care of themselves and others. That's probably one thing that makes it so hard to age, to be elderly, possibly frail, weak and maybe even sickly. For some people it is more than they can handle --- to admit that they can't care for themselves.
Mirror, mirror on the wall. What the hell happened! It hasn't been that long ago that I was still a fine looking woman. The transformation has been too quick. I've gone from wrinkle free to full of wrinkles in a few short years. If that is what's happening on the outside then that aging must also be taking it's toll on the inside, too. Just like my mother.
I have been told I am in that season of life where classmates, as well as parents, are dying. I don't like this season very much. It's too much like winter. Cold. Barren. Cold.
However, the good news is that even in this barren coldness I have seen beauty. I have been documenting some of it with photographs. I have also been documenting my mother's good days with photographs to share with family and friends.
And what about our dog, Cookie? She is also getting older. And she has made this trip to the never ending winter with us. But she has been on vacation. An adventure of sorts. She has seen her first deer, cow, ground mole and snow. She doesn't like snow very much, actually she doesn't like snow at all. (Smile)
Cookie has kept us entertained and laughing. We have been blessed to watch her amazement of and reactions to these new creatures. She has also visited with Grandma in the rehab center. She growled at the nurses----not a wise thing to do, Cookie (Smile). But she has overwhelmed my mother with doggy sugar. What a blessing she has been in the past few weeks. Not once has she been a burden during this trip.
As I watch my frail mother sleeping, I think about these things.
I will try to keep my followers (all two or three of you!) updated again, at least by the end of this season---if it ever springs! Stay tuned..........